Note to self, babies are not a given, even with IVF

New years eve was a quiet one for the Sarkars. I had volunteered to work New years day, so that meant an early night and of course, a take away. What a blissful way to end 2019, I had thought to myself.

I guess with IVF on our minds and the hope that the new year would bring us new life, we thought that it would be a good idea to watch something about IVF.

We were in luck. We found a documentary called ‘One more shot’ on Netflix – for free!

That’s right, the Sarkars were in bed by 8:30pm, on New Years Eve, watching a documentary on IVF.

*Spoiler alert* If you plan to watch this film, do not read any further.

The documentary follows the IVF journey of a US couple, Maya & Noah, who share the good, the bad and the very ugly. In my small mind, I had always believed IVF to be a simple guaranteed process.

Minh’s Recipe for IVF baby

Things you need

Egg x 1

Sperm, lots of them


Things to mix things with

Probably a microscope



1. Collect egg from woman

2. Ask man to give sperm in a cup

3. Mix egg and sperm together in dish

4. Return embryo to womb

5. Pregnant!

Yeah, about 10 minutes into the film I quickly realised that my recipe may be flawed. I watched as Maya painfully injected herself daily, in preparation for the egg collection. I grimaced as Noah put an enema in her butt the night before the egg extraction procedure. I felt their anxiety during the ten day wait after the embryo had been implanted. I deeply felt their heartache when, after all of that, it was unsuccessful. It seemed cruel. Devastatingly, they go on to fail again but this time they have exhausted their finances and cannot afford to have another round of IVF. It is heartbreaking. There is more to the story, but you will just have to watch to find out what happens.

Bloody hell, no wonder why people feel sorry for us, I remember saying to Joy.

So we ended 2019 with the realisation that babies are not a given, even with IVF.

The latest in our own journey, is Joy’s procedure, which our Consultant refers to as the ‘chop chop’. As Joy is missing the vas deferens, he needed to have a testicular biopsy to extract the sperm. He had this procedure on Wednesday. Although a day case, he was put under general anaesthetic. I think Joy was glad for this as I suspect he would not want to be awake for this one.

For Joy, it seemed like it was just another day. He thought the hospital gown was hilarious.

For me? I don’t know, all sorts of crazy was going on in my head. I had a ridiculous fear that he may not wake up, which of course I didn’t tell him I was thinking this. He then texts me that he is now suspected of being a Thalassaemia carrier. Great, another thing to freak out about. Not sure I would have married this man if I had known he was a carrier for all of these things.

But he woke up and he is safe. Although I now have a waddling husband, the procedure was successful. The sperm collected are strong and plentiful. Enough for 6 rounds of IVF! That tiny flicker of hope I feel grows slightly stronger.

The next step is more blood tests to rule out the Thalassemia carrier suspicion and then, it’s my turn.

“You need to do your wife duties and help me put my scrotal support on”. No joke, this is the text I have just received from the husband who is stuck upstairs. So on that note, I will end this blog post to go support the waddling husband.